September 4th

DAILY PONDERABLES

Together WE Trudge The Road OF Happy Destiny

Daily Reflections

RECONSTRUCTION

Yes, there is a long period of reconstruction ahead. . . .

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 83

The reconstruction of my life is the prime goal in my recovery as I avoid taking that first drink, one day at a time. The task is most successfully accomplished by working the Steps of our Fellowship. The spiritual life is not a theory; it works, but I have to live it. Step Two started me on my journey to develop a spiritual life; Step Nine allows me to move into the final phase of the initial Steps which taught me how to live a spiritual life. Without the guidance and strength of a Higher Power, it would be impossible to proceed through the various stages of reconstruction. I realize that God works for me and through me. Proof comes to me when I realize that God did for me what I could not do for myself, by removing that gnawing compulsion to drink. I must continue daily to seek God's guidance. He grants me a daily reprieve and will provide the power I need for reconstruction.

From the book Daily Reflections

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought for the Day

"We must be careful never to show intolerance or hatred of drinking as an institution. Experience shows that such an attitude is not helpful to anyone. We are not fanatics or intolerant of people who can drink normally. Prospects are relieved when they find we are not witch burners. Temperate drinking is okay, but we alcoholics can't get away with it. And no alcoholic likes to be told about alcohol by anyone who hates it. We shall be of little use if our attitude is one of bitterness or hostility." Do I have tolerance for those who can drink normally?

Meditation for the Day

Do not become encumbered by petty annoyances. Never respond to emotional upsets by emotional upset. Try to keep calm in all circumstances. Try not to fight back. Call on the grace of God to calm you when you feel like retaliating. Look to God for the inner strength to drop those resentments that drag you down. If you are burdened by annoyances, you will lose your inward peace and the spirit of God will be shut out. Try to keep peaceful within.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may do the things that make for peace. I pray that I may have a mission of conciliation.

From the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day

NA - Just for Today

Cluttered spirits

Page 258

"We try to remember that when we make amends we are doing it for ourselves. "

Basic Text, p.41

As long as we still owe amends, our spirits are cluttered with things we don't need. We're carrying the extra load of an apology owed, a resentment held, or unexpressed remorse. It's like having a messy house. We could leave so we don't have to see the mess, or maybe just step over the piles of debris and pretend they aren't there. But ignoring the disorder won't make it disappear. In the end, the dirty dishes, the crumb-filled carpet, and the overflowing wastebaskets are still there, waiting to be cleaned up.

A cluttered spirit is just as hard to live with as a messy home. We always seem to be tripping over yesterday's leavings. Every time we turn around and try to go somewhere, there is something blocking our path. The more we neglect our responsibility to make amends, the more cluttered our spirits become. And we can't even hire someone to clean up. We have to do the work ourselves.

We gain a deep sense of satisfaction from making our own amends. Just as we would feel after we've cleaned our homes and have time to enjoy a bit of sunshine through sparkling windows, so will our spirits rejoice at our freedom to truly enjoy our recovery. And once the big mess is cleaned up, all we have to do is pick up after ourselves as we go along.

Just for Today: I will clear away what's cluttering my spirit by making the amends I owe.

From the book Just for Today

Thought for Today

"Paint your ass white and run with the antelope. Try and stay in the middle of the pack." Texas Randy

DENIAL

by Larry R.

You don’t know what you’re talking about, no need to be concerned

I drink too much, from time to time, but see how much I’ve earned

Our lovely house, the fancy cars, a yacht club for my boat

The kids go to a private school, my wife has a mink coat

My life has been a big success, I’ve made it to the top

And any time I wanted to, I know that I could stop

The only problem that I see is in the way you’re thinking

So, quit this talk, leave me alone, ease up about my drinking

Like most of us, this chap had what the experts call denial

The facts about his drinking he refused to put on trial

The truth was too uncomfortable, shameful and decadent

So, he’d insist that it’s not true, despite the evidence

He’d often give the reasons why he drank more than most others

His wife’s a nag, his mother’s sick, he could not stand his brothers

He’d shift the blame for what he did and make himself the victim

In hope that it would put an end to further criticism

As time went on, drinking got worse, addiction more severe

Denial even stronger now, hold on to that veneer

A fallacy of reasoning had occupied his brain

Distortion of reality and factual distain

He told himself that DUI was caused by some bad luck

The other car had stopped too fast and that’s why it got struck

The cop who came did not agree and said that he smelled drink

A breath-a-lizer closed the deal and sent him to the clink

Soon after that his boss advised that he would have to choose

Between their offer to get help to put away the booze

Or end employment with the firm, we’re sad to see you go

It’s up to you, this can’t go on, we wish it wasn’t so

He told them all that they were wrong, he did not need assistance

If drinking was what caused concern, he’d quit this very instance

But to himself he said that they were being vitriolic

They made it seem like he’s a wretch, a loathsome alcoholic

His ego would not stand for that, no rehab place for him

Those places are for low life scum, disgusting, drab and grim

They would not tell him what to do, he’d do things his own way

And show just how wrong they were, they’d come to rue the day

That night he sat alone and blue, a bottle close at hand

They had some nerve to talk like that, he had to take a stand

Tomorrow he’d put down the drink and start his life anew

But now he had much more to drink before the night was through

When morning came, to his surprise, the bottle was not empty

He tried to look away from it but it looked awfully tempty

There’s just a little left inside, what harm can that bit do

It felt so good, he’d have one more, and then he would be through

Days turned to weeks and then to months, this pattern kept repeating

Each day he said that he would stop, he’d taken quite a beating

And as the darkness came to call, the days ended the same

A drunken mess, still saying that some others were to blame

He died in his thirty-fifth year, alone in a motel

The house maid found him on the floor, at first, she thought he fell

But when she took a look around the reason soon was clear

Empty bottles everywhere and hollowed cans of beer

Denial was his stock in trade, it led his demise

He never could accept the fact that all of it was lies

He mostly had convinced himself that he could still dictate

Until the truth he had to face. by then it was too late

We’re fortunate, the group of us, that we did not hold on

Denying we had lost control, believing our own conn

Reality was not our friend, illusion our demeanor

Till desperation filled our lives to look for a redeemer

Us lucky ones did not stay with denial to the end

Once we accepted what we were, then we began to mend

Redemption from our sordid past was in the AA rooms

Deniers once, those days long gone, a useful life resumed

Larry R.

Buddha/Zen Thoughts

Listen to the sound of water. Listen to the water running through chasms and rocks. It is the minor streams that make a loud noise; the great waters flow silently.

The hollow resounds and the full is still. Foolishness is like a half-filled pot; the wise man is a lake full of water.

-Sutta Nipata

Native American

"the Elders say that if you want something good, you have to suffer for it."

--Chuck Ross, LAKOTA

People sometimes have a misconception of sacrifice. This is a strong word for Indian people. On the other side of sacrifice is another whole world. During sacrifice, our beliefs are tested. We may all have good beliefs but if you test a good belief, then you get real beliefs. Real beliefs make new people; real beliefs make new self images. Real beliefs allow determination and desires and faith to come true. Good is always available to us but we often can't bring it within until we let go of the old ways. We let go of the old ways by suffering. Suffering is only letting go of things that don't work anymore. On the other side of suffering is a new world.

Creator, help me to let go of old ways. Let my old thoughts and beliefs be abandoned. Every change is preceded by struggle. Help me go through the struggle today.

Keep It Simple

In my view, we of this world are pupils in great school of life. Bill W.

Our addiction has taught me much. It has taught us how far we can get from ourselves, our Higher Power, and those who love us.. Hopefully, we've learned we can't go it alone. Do I allow myself to learn from the bad things that happened?

Recovery has much to teach us too. We need to be students of life. We need to be open to learning. Our spirits can grow if we’re willing to do three things: First, we listen. Second, we think about what we've learned. Third, we turn what we've learned into action. Listening, combined with thought and action, will help us learn life’s best lessons.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, You'll test me so I can learn. Help me accept the tasks You give me. And help me learn from them.

Action for the Day: I will view today as a class. I will do three things---listen, think, act.

TWELVE STEPS

and

TWELVE TRADITIONS

Step Four (pgs 45-47)

At this stage of the inventory proceedings, our sponsors come to the rescue. They can do this, for they are the carriers of A.A.’s tested experience with Step Four. They comfort the melancholy one by first showing him that his case is not strange or different, that his character defects are probably not more numerous or worse than those of anyone else in A.A. This the sponsor promptly proves by talking freely and easily, and without exhibitionism, about his own defects, past and present. This calm, yet realistic, stocktaking is immensely reassuring. The sponsor probably points out that the newcomer has some assets which can be noted along with his liabilities. This tends to clear away morbidity and encourage balance. As soon as he begins to be more objective, the newcomer can fearlessly, rather than fearfully, look at his own defects. The sponsors of those who feel they need no inventory are confronted with quite another problem. This is because people who are driven by pride of self unconsciously blind themselves to their liabilities. These newcomers scarcely need comforting. The problem is to help them discover a chink in the walls their ego has built, through which the light of reason can shine.

First off, they can be told that the majority of A.A. members have suffered severely from self-justification during their drinking days. For most of us, self-justification was the maker of excuses; excuses, of course, for drinking, and for all kinds of crazy and damaging conduct. We had made the invention of alibis a fine art. We had to drink because times were hard or times were good. We had to drink because at home we were smothered with love or got none at all. We had to drink because at work we were great successes or dismal failures. We had to drink because our nation had won a war or lost a peace. And so it went, ad infinitum.

We thought “conditions” drove us to drink, and when we tried to correct these conditions and found that we couldn’t to our entire satisfaction, our drinking went out of hand and we became alcoholics. It never occurred to us that we needed to change ourselves to meet conditions, whatever they were.

But in A.A. we slowly learned that something had to be done about our vengeful resentments, self-pity, and unwarranted pride. We had to see that every time we played the big shot, we turned people against us. We had to see that when we harbored grudges and planned revenge for such defeats, we were really beating ourselves with the club of anger we had intended to use on others. We learned that if we were seriously disturbed, our first need was to quiet that disturbance, regardless of who or what we thought caused it.

To see how erratic emotions victimized us often took a long time. We could perceive them quickly in others, but only slowly in ourselves. First of all, we had to admit that we had many of these defects, even though such disclosures were painful and humiliating. Where other people were concerned, we had to drop the word “blame” from our speech and thought. This required great willingness even to begin. But once over the first two or three high hurdles, the course ahead began to look easier. For we had started to get perspective on ourselves, which is another way of saying that we were gaining in humility.