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DAILY PONDERABLES

Together WE Trudge The Road OF Happy Destiny

Daily Reflections

LISTEN, SHARE AND PRAY

When working with a man and his family, you should take care not to participate in their quarrels. You may spoil your chance of being helpful if you do.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 100

When trying to help a fellow alcoholic, I've given in to an impulse to give advice, and perhaps that's inevitable. But allowing others the right to be wrong reaps its own benefits. The best I can do and it sounds easier than it is to put into practice is to listen, share personal experience, and pray for others.

From the book Daily Reflections

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought for the Day

Have I ceased being inwardly defeated, at war with myself Have I given myself freely to A.A. and to the Higher Power? Have I gotten over being sick inside? Am I still wandering mentally or am I "on the beam"? I can face anything if I am sure I am on the way. When I am sure, I should bet my life on A.A. I have learned how the program works. Now will I follow it with all I have, with all I can give, with all my might, with all my life? Am I going to let A.A. principles guide the rest of my life?

Meditation for the Day

In this time of quiet meditation, follow the pressure of the Lord's leading. in all decisions to be made today, yield to the gentle pressure of your conscience. Stay or go as that pressure indicates. Take the events of today as part of God's planning and ordering. He may lead you to a right decision. Wait quietly until you have an inner urge, a leading, a feeling that a thing is right, a pressure on your will by the spirit of God.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that today I may try to follow the inner pressure of God's leading. I pray that I may try to follow my conscience and do what seems right today.

From the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day

NA - Just for Today

Acceptance And Change

"Freedom to change seems to come after acceptance of ourselves."

Basic Text pg. 56

Fear and denial are the opposites of acceptance. None of us are perfect, even in our own eyes; all of us have certain traits that, given the chance, we would like to change. We sometimes become overwhelmed when contemplating how far short we fall of our ideals, so overwhelmed that we fear there's no chance of becoming the people we'd like to be. That's when our defense mechanism of denial kicks in, taking us to the opposite extreme: nothing about ourselves needs changing, we tell ourselves, so why worry? Neither extreme gives us the freedom to change.

Whether we are long-time NA members or new to recovery, the freedom to change is acquired by working the Twelve Steps. When we admit our powerlessness and the unmanageability of our lives, we counteract the lie that says we don't have to change. In coming to believe that a Power greater than we are can help us, we lose our fear that we are damaged beyond repair; we come to believe we can change. We turn ourselves over to the care of the God of our understanding and tap the strength we need to make a thorough, honest examination of ourselves. We admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being what we've found. We accept the good and the bad in ourselves; with this acceptance, we become free to change.

Just for today: I want to change. By working the steps, I will counter fear and denial and find the acceptance needed to change.

pg. 371

From the book Just for Today

Thought for Today

"Don't let the life AA gave you get in the way of your AA life"

(thanks Paulette B)

I'll lift you and you lift me, and we'll both ascend together.

~~ John Greenleaf Whittier

Buddha/Zen Thoughts

When subjective feelings arrange your effort, and activity is obsessed with objects, the matter of your self is neglected; not believing in true universal knowledge in oneself, you'll never attain true awakening.

-Chen-ching

Native American

"He [The Great Spirit] only sketches out the path of life roughly for all the creatures on earth, shows them where to go, where to arrive at, but leaves them to find their own way to get there. He wants them to act independently according to their nature, to the urges of each of them.

--Lame Deer, LAKOTA

Every person is created with purpose and with direction. This purpose and direction is written in our hearts when we are conceived. In addition, we are given access to a quiet guidance system which helps us find our purpose and our direction. We need to recognize this guidance system. It's called intuition, the quiet voice, urges, the knowing or the feeling. Once we locate our purpose and direction, we are given skills, talents and abilities that are unique to only ourselves. We must practice daily prayer and meditation with God to find this information. To be solid and confident in ourselves, we always need to be able to answer three questions: why am I?, who am I?, and where am I going? If I can answer these three questions, I always know I'm OK!

Great Spirit, show me my path of life.

Keep It Simple

Don't give your advice before you are called upon. --- Desiderius Erasmus

If someone wants your advice, the person will ask for it. That's one reason why in Twelve Step programs we don't go around trying to talk people into joining. But people will ask us for advice. They'll see how we've changed, and they'll want what we have. All we have to do is tell them where we found it--in AA, NA or another Twelve Step group. We don't tell them what to do. We tell them our own story--what it was like, what happened, and where we are now. And we invite them to join us.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me carry the healing message of the program to these who ask for advice.

Action for the Day: I'll make a decision to spend time with the next person who ask for my help.

Big Book

"Many doctors and psychiatrists agree with our conclusions. One of

these men, staff member of a world-renowned hospital, recently made

this statement to some of us: 'What you say about the general

hopelessness of the average alcoholic's plight is, in my opinion,

correct. As to two of you men, whose stories I have heard, there is no

doubt in my mind that you were 100% hopeless, apart from divine

help. Had you offered yourselves as patients at this hospital, I would

not have taken you, if I had been able to avoid it. People like you

are too heartbreaking. Though not a religious person, I have profound

respect for the spiritual approach in such cases as yours. For most

cases, there is virtually no other solution.'"

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, More About Alcoholism, pg. 43~

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The Practice of Forgiveness

Marianne Williamson says, "The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world."

We must learn to forgive, not just for ourselves, but because we influence the rest of the world,

including our loved ones and families. Forgiveness is deeply healing. It allows us to live free in the present moment.

But let me be clear about what forgiveness is not:

1. Forgiveness does not mean condoning. It does not condone past hurtful behavior. Forgiveness is consciously choosing to release past grievances that have happened, so that you can be free and move on with your life. It gives you the power to release resentment.

2. Forgiveness does not mean inaction. It does not mean that we blindly accept the destructive behaviors of others who threaten our safety. In no way does forgiveness mean that we allow violent acts to continue. Forgiveness takes great strength. True forgiveness frees us from acting out of separation and hate, and empowers us to speak the truth from our hearts.

Forgiveness may seem like a far stretch in the beginning. At first what we often feel is rage, anger, and thoughts of revenge. Violent acts of injustice often spur people toward major action. Anger lets us know something must change. We must not ignore it. But we must take time to acknowledge and experience the pain we feel, so that we do not inadvertently channel more of our pain unto others. Forgiveness is an act of self-empowerment that allows clarity and wisdom to transform our pain into loving action. It makes us clear vessels for positive change.

Forgiveness is healing. It leads you towards greater health and wholeness. Unfortunately, there is no shortcut to learning how to forgive. Finding a way to plant the seed of intention for forgiveness allows it to germinate in its own time, in its own way. When you are gentle, loving and patient toward yourself through the process, the intention of forgiveness will find a way to flower on its own.

Through forgiveness you choose to act from love and strength. But how can you even begin to forgive? Here are 10 ways to start the practice of forgiveness:

1. Honor your true feelings. What are your true feelings? Do you allow yourself to fully express them, or do you push painful emotions away? In the healing arts, they say "feeling is healing." By allowing what you really feel, without guilt or shame, you give yourself permission to fully purge your emotions and move forward.

2. Practice self-observation. Notice the thoughts you have when you choose not to forgive, and the way it affects your health and energy. What happens when you don't forgive? Where do your attention and energy tend to go? What is the story you keep telling yourself over and over again? Where do you feel contraction in your body?

3. Imagine being the other. For a moment, take yourself out of your own shoes, and imagine being the other person. Imagine them as a child. What was it like for them to grow up? What was their experience like for them to have behaved the way they did? What was their pain like? Meditate on being the other person and seeing the situation from his/her point of view.

4. Reflect. Take time to reflect on what happened and how the situation transpired. What was your initial intuition? What unspoken agreements were broken? What is your life lesson in the matter? What good, if any, unfolded as a result?

5. Open your perspective. Look at the situation from a bird's eye perspective that can see 360 degrees, across all time and space. What would you tell yourself in 200 years about what happened? What would you say to your perpetrator in 200 years? What do you see happening in other parts of the world?

6. Take responsibility. When bad things happen, you can feel helpless. In what way can you take responsibility for your own healing and feelings? How do you choose to respond? Robert Parker acknowledges that we all have free will: "I'm not mad. I have my own agency to use this event to do whatever I can to make sure my wife and daughters are taken care of."

7. Forgive the other. What would it be like to forgive the other? To simply have an intention to forgive? How does it feel in your body?

8. Forgive yourself. Can you forgive yourself for what happened? For the judgments, resentments or actions you took? What would it be like to wholly forgive yourself?

9. Choose to learn. What do you feel that you learned from the situation? What do you want to see change? How would you choose to act differently in the future?

10. Take positive action. Transform your hurt into positive action. What you experienced as a "lack" or "wrong" in your previous situation, create an abundance of it in your community. If you experienced violence or apathy from those around you, offer service and healing to your community. Notice the effect it has on you and your well-being.

Forgiveness is an act of liberation. It no longer binds you to your perpetrator. It frees you from the past, and any negative energy that you hold within yourself against the other. Keep in mind that you are not giving anything up when you choose to forgive, you are choosing to claim your life back. To learn how to forgive unthinkable acts is possibly one of the most challenging, yet greatest gifts you can bestow upon yourself.

Ultimately, forgiveness is an act of self-love. It is by far one of the most loving things you could do for yourself. It takes great courage and humility to choose to forgive. When you're feeling challenged, take time to be with your pain. Being present to your own pain is one of the hardest things you can do. But that too, is an act of self-love. It purifies you and asks you to grow. Be gentle with yourself, and let yourself be nurtured in times of unbearable grief. Surround yourself with those who love you. And remember the power of forgiveness.