DAILY PONDERABLES
Together WE Trudge The Road OF Happy Destiny
Daily Reflections
WHEN FAITH IS MISSING
Sometimes A.A. comes harder to those who have lost or rejected faith than those who never had any faith at all, for they think they have tried faith and found it wanting. They have tried the way of faith and the way of no faith.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 28
I was so sure God had failed me that I became ultimately defiant, though I knew better, and plunged into a final drinking binge. My faith turned bitter and that was no coincidence. Those who once had great faith hit bottom harder. It took time to rekindle my faith, though I came to A.A. I was grateful intellectually to have survived such a great fall, but my heart felt callous. Still, I stuck with the A.A. program; the alternatives were too bleak! I kept coming back and gradually my faith was resurrected.
From the book Daily Reflections
© Copyright 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought for the Day
Treating others to drinks gave us a kind of satisfaction. We liked to say, "Have a drink on me." But we were not really doing the other people a favor. We were only helping them to get drunk, especially if they happened to be alcoholic. In A.A. we really try to help other alcoholics. We build them up instead of tearing them down. Drinking created a sort of fellowship. But it really was a false fellowship, because it was based on selfishness. We used our drinking companions for our own pleasure. In A.A. we have real fellowship, based on unselfishness and a desire to help each other. And we make real friends, not fair-weather friends. With sobriety, have I got everything that drinking's got, without the headaches?
Meditation for the Day
I know that God cannot teach anyone who is trusting in a crutch. I will throw away the crutch of alcohol and walk in God's power and spirit. God's power will so invigorate me that I shall indeed walk on to victory. There is never any limit to God's power. I will go step by step, one day at a time. God's will shall be revealed to me as I go forward.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may have more and more dependence on God. I pray that I may throw away my alcoholic crutch and let God's power take its place.
From the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day
© Copyright 1975 by Hazelden Foundation
NA - Just for Today
Feeling good isn't the point
Page 36
"For us, recovery is more than just pleasure."
Basic Text, p. 43
In our active addiction, most of us knew exactly how we were going to feel from one day to the next. All we had to do was read the label on the bottle or know what was in the bag. We planned our feelings, and our goal for each day was to feel good.
In recovery, we're liable to feel anything,/i> from one day to the next, even from one minute to the next. We may feel energetic and happy in the morning, then strangely let down and sad in the afternoon. Because we no longer plan our feelings for the day each morning, we could end up having feelings that are somewhat inconvenient, like feeling tired in the morning and wide-awake at bedtime.
Of course, there's always the possibility we could feel good, but that isn't the point. Today, our main concern is not feeling good but learning to understand and deal with our feelings, no matter what they are. We do this by working the steps and sharing our feelings with others.
Just for Today: I will accept my feelings, whatever they may be, just as they are. I will practice the program and learn to live with my feelings.
From the book Just for Today
© Copyright 1991-2013 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Thought for Today
"Really listening and suspending one's own judgment is necessary in order to understand other people on their own terms... This is a process that requires trust and builds trust."
--Mary Field Belenky
Women's Ways of Knowing: The Development of Self, Voice, and Mind, p. 187
A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.
~ Jackie Robinson
If you want to be happy, be.
~ Leo Tolsto (thanks Gene H.)
FOUNDATION
I’ve heard it said the way you work the program of AA
Is like the way you build a house, the first thing you must lay
A foundation to insure you house will stand the test of time
A place to add on rooms to live and even steps to climb
In life our own foundation starts when we are just a child
Our parents try to guide us with affection and a smile
And there to teach us right from wrong and set off an alarm
When opting for which path to chose when one may cause us harm
For many years I felt secure, my own foundation sound
Career was on an upward path, family life on solid ground
The wife, three kids, a lovely home, two cars in the garage
It stayed that way for many years, till drinking once took charge
It happened over quite a while, most time I had control
Could drink and stop before John Barleycorn could take his toll
But as the years progressed some occasions did arise
When I would drink more than my friends and not just socialize
At first, when this occurred, I’d tell myself “it’s no big deal”
A one-off situation I could easily repeal
My foundation was still strong, I could control the way I drank
Yet little did I know I was about to walk the plank
These times of excess drinking began to happen more and more
Each time I’d tell myself it was the end, I even swore
And to the outside world I would pretend I‘m still on track
But inside me I knew that my foundation had some cracks
So, naturally as things got worse, foundation starts to crumble
The thought that I had lost control should perhaps have made me humble
Instead I told myself a lie, I’m not an alcoholic
And cast away all thoughts that I considered vitriolic
I can’t explain exactly what occurred to change my thinking
I knew I had to do something for I was surely sinking
I knew AA was where most people went to find a cure
But what I did not know was that it offered so much more
I heard talk that the program of AA needs a foundation
A solid slab on which to build a path to our salvation
It has to start with number One, requires an admission
That alcohol was in control, beat us into submission
Steps Two and Three add strength to the foundation that we started
We learn that we need outside help to have old ways discarded
Without the first three Steps secured our chances of success
Are very slim and usually will lead us to regress
So, we admit we’ve lost control and drinking makes us cower
We ask for help from folks like us and from a Higher Power
With these three Steps achieved we can proceed to do the rest
Our foundation firmly set in place, a gift we now possess.
Larry R.
Buddha/Zen Thoughts
Actions motivated by attachment, aversion, or ignorance, regardless of any external appearances, are simply not Buddhist practices.
-Lorne Ladner, "Wheel Of Great Compassion"
Native American
"We say there is a right time and place for everything. It's easy to say, but hard to understand. You have to live it to understand it."
--Rolling Thunder, CHEROKEE
The Elders tell us there is a right time and a right place. Don't plant seeds in the fall- wrong time. One way we find out about the right time and right place is our experience. If we are lucky, we have a few friends who will share their experience; this will help us too. The best way is to let God guide us. Only He knows the right time and the right place. So we need to pray and ask Him for guidance.
Great Spirit, show me patience so I can live in the right time and right place.
Keep It Simple
We do not remember days, we remember moments. --- Cesare Pavese
It's the moment that's important. Each moment holds choice. Our spirits grow through working our program moment to moment. Moments lead to days, days to years, and years to a life of honest recovery.
It will be the moments of choice that we remember. The moment we call a friend instead of being alone.
The moment we decide to go for a walk instead of arguing with our partner. The moment we decide to go to an extra meeting instead of drinking or using other drugs. The moments lead us to our Higher Power.
These moments teach us that we're human, that we need others. At these moments, we know others care about us--our joys, and our struggles.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me remember that my recovery is made up of many moments of choice.
Action for the Day: I'll look back over the last twenty-four hours. What moments come to mind? Why were they important to me.
Big Book - Quotes
"First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work."
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 62~
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What Do I Do Next to Stay Sober? - AA Grapevine September 1968
Stay cheerful; stick with the winners; get busy; take the Twelve Steps
ALL RIGHT; tonight I'm (hopefully) assuming there's one person in this room who for good reason has been exploring AA lately; someone who has been having trouble with his drinking and to whom the AA message has been carried; who is over the worst of the withdrawal whimwhams and has begun to look around him and wonder what he's getting into. And who has begun to ask questions, like "What is an alcoholic, anyway?" and "What is this thing called AA?"
As he thinks about the answers he has received, with his mind made up that there's a pretty good chance he belongs here, naturally at this point he wants to know what he does next in order to put this thing to work for him all the way.
The customary initial suggestions have been made to him, and again I'm assuming that he is following them: meetings, meetings, and more meetings; staying away from one drink one day at a time; using the AA tools--the 24-hour plan, the Slogans, the telephone therapy, the Serenity Prayer.
What our beginner does now is more of the same. These are the things he has done and the tools he has used to keep him sober today, thus far, and with us it's always today. I'd like to add one heartfelt recommendation of my own, and that's to do a little realistic thinking along about now, and adopt and latch on to a healthy set of attitudes in relation to the entire situation.
I often quote the politician who with equal facility could either "anticipate with delight" or "view with alarm." Which approach is the beginner bringing to his new life in AA? His choice will make all the difference in how much or how little he gets out of AA above and beyond physical sobriety. The positive attitude in any endeavor is the one that gets results. The negative attitude never gets off the ground--nor, sometimes, does the alcoholic who persists in "viewing with alarm."
The negative approach says, "Poor me. Why me? So I'm sober, but I don't have to like it." The negative type, to be sure, does look around him, but not at the living good examples in an AA meeting, He looks back over his shoulder, out yonder, and thinks: "Joe Bloke can drink and! can't. I'm as good a man as Joe Bloke ever was. It's a damned shame I can't drink like Joe Bloke can. . . . Who says I can't? I'll show them!" And he sure does.
The positive approach to AA might go something like this. . . .
Admitted: I have a problem with drinking.
There is a place where I can get help for my problem. That place is AA. I'm a lucky guy (or gal) that there is an AA.
AA teaches me that I cannot safely drink, since I am an alcoholic. There are lots of things worse than being an alcoholic. There are many diseases I definitely would not exchange my alcoholism for. Not all of them can be arrested; mine can. I'm lucky I'm only an alcoholic. For me there is hope. I accept.
I realize I'm giving up nothing that's doing me any good; I'm getting rid of something I can no longer live with, and these people tell me I can very well live without. They will even tell me how to do it.
I have a lot to learn, so I'd better listen good.
I see around me in AA people who are apparently very well adjusted to getting along without drinking. Most of them even seem to prefer it this way. They look fine; they're cheerful, lively, busy, happy. I want some of that, too, along with just merely keeping out of trouble.
I'll stand on my head at high noon every day, if they tell me that's what they did to get this thing. . . .
What else can our beginner do now to help along the quality as well as the quantity of his sobriety?
You can "stick with the winners," whose sobriety is the kind you want. Stay away as much as possible--perhaps altogether, for a while, until you're on more solid ground--from old drinking pals who can't be expected to take your present effort as seriously as you do, and whose drinking can set up a resentment in you against your "lot." Resentments can set anyone off again. They're one luxury alcoholics absolutely cannot afford.
Don't push your luck. Meals can be found in coffee shops, telephones in drugstores. There's no valid need to go on patronizing your neighborhood bar for commodities such as these. And don't be afraid you'll miss seeing the "kindred souls" in that bar. They may be our beginners of tomorrow! We who are here tonight are the alumni of many bars; we're your kindred spirits, too. You may even get to like us better this way than as the kind of barroom companions we used to be.
Do you like to read? We have a magazine, the Grapevine, that's delightful. We have books you'll get to love. There is also the "little black book," 24 Hours a Day; spend five minutes with it every morning--it will start your day out right.
Get busy around the group of your choice. First, of course, join a group. Put down roots, so that you'll become known and will be around and available where the activity is. It's true there are no formal "musts" in AA, but you'll find there are any number of "You'll be better off if you do's," and this is one of them.
Count your blessings often. There arc more of them than you perhaps realize, already, and they'll increase with every twenty-four hours of sobriety. Count them especially if you should feel a little self-pity or depression creeping in; force yourself to; see how long your self-pity lasts under that treatment. Counting your blessings will help you stay grateful, and gratitude will help you stay sober.
Never say "Never" to anything that comes along in AA. Say "Not today," if you must, but don't set up blocks in your mind that can later become roadblocks in the path to the kind of sobriety you want. At the same time, keep your expectations simple, and watch your natural impatience. Not all of your problems will clear up overnight; they didn't accumulate overnight. Nor is AA going to solve all your problems. It can and will take care of your Number One problem, drinking. And indirectly, through your own sobriety, it will help you solve the others. But this will take a little time; just remember that, in adding one day's sobriety to another, you're gaining on your other objectives.
As for the horrible past and the remorse that sometimes threatens to swamp you--don't be too hard on yourself. You have been a very sick person; you're just beginning to recover. The Twelve Steps will enable you, when you're ready to tackle them, to do all that needs to be done about that past, so that "you can finally let it go; until you are strong enough and ready to deal with it, it will keep. Meantime, this is today, and this is the time in your life that counts--right now.
Bob N.
Scarsdale, New York
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