Daily Reflections, April 13th

THE FALSE COMFORT OF SELF-PITY

Self-pity is one of the most unhappy and consuming defects that we know. It is a bar to all spiritual progress and can cut off all effective communication with our fellows because of its inordinate demands for attention and sympathy. It is a maudlin form of martyrdom, which we can ill afford.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 238

The false comfort of self-pity screens me from reality only momentarily and then demands, like a drug, that I take an even bigger dose. If I succumb to this it could lead to a relapse into drinking. What can I do? One certain antidote is to turn my attention, however slightly at first, toward others who are genuinely less fortunate than I, preferably other alcoholics. In the same degree that I actively demonstrate my empathy with them, I will lessen my own exaggerated suffering.

Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 13th

A.A. Thought for the Day

Having found my way into this new world by the grace of God and the help of A.A., am I going to take that first drink, when I know that just one drink will change my whole world? Am I deliberately going back to the suffering of that alcoholic world? Or am I going to hang onto the happiness of this sober world? Is there any doubt about the answer? With God's help, am I going to hang onto AA. with both hands?

Meditation for the Day

I will try to make the world better and happier by my presence in it. I will try to help other people find the way God wants them to live. I will try to be on the side of good, in the stream of righteousness, where all things work for good. I will do my duty persistently and faithfully, not sparing myself. I will be gentle with all people. I will try to see other people's difficulty and help them to correct it. I will always pray to God to act as interpreter between me and the other person.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may live in the spirit of prayer. I pray that I may depend on God for the strength I need to help me to do my part in making the world a better place.

NA - Just for Today, April 13th

People-pleasing

Page 107

"…approval-seeking behavior carried us further into our addiction..."

Basic Text. p. 14

When others approve of what we do or say, we feel good; when they disapprove, we feel bad. Their opinions of us, and how those opinions make us feel, can have positive value. By making us feel good about steering a straight course, they encourage us to continue doing so. "People-pleasing" is something else entirely. We "people-please" when we do things, right or wrong, solely to gain another person's approval.

Low self-esteem can make us think we need someone else's approval to feel okay about ourselves. We do whatever we think it will take to make them tell us we're okay We feel good for awhile. Then we start hurting. In trying to please another person, we've diminished ourselves and our values. We realize that the approval of others will not fill the emptiness inside us.

The inner satisfaction we seek can be found in doing the right things for the right reasons. We break the people-pleasing cycle when we stop acting merely to gain others' approval and start acting on our Higher Power's will for us. When we do, we may be pleasantly surprised to find that the people who really count in our lives will approve all the more of our behavior. Most importantly, though, we will approve of ourselves.

Just for Today: Higher Power, help me live in accordance with spiritual principles. Only then can I approve of myself.

Thought for Today

One thing about being honest is you don't have to have a good memory.

- Mike L.

Don't go through life, GROW through life.

-Eric Butterworth

Surrender

When tears arise and fill my soul

from overflowing grace,

so much pain no heart can hold

a tear wavers in place.

What tips the scale fall from my eyes

my pride, my ego wanes,

the freedom heaven brings to me

the ties to earth now fade.

Where language speaks as silence seeks

how does my God draw near,

why do I wait or hesitate

to feel the power within.

No one can do this thing for me

surrender all my own,

beginning with a humble heart

One turn can melt the stone.

Angie M.

Buddha/Zen Thoughts

We plant merit with our minds, and we commit crimes with our minds. With our minds, we imprint images. This one mind is like an artist. It can draw anything, and what it draws is realized. If you surrender your impressions, ideas, thoughts, and so on at the moment they arise without imprinting them on your mind, your minds will not be tainted, just as the lotus flower is not tainted by the muddy water whence it grows.

- Jae Woong Kim, "Polishing the Diamond"

Craving is the aspiring to an object that one has not

yet reached; clinging is the grasping of an object that

one has reached. They are the roots of the suffering

due to seeking and guarding.

- Buddhaghosa   (thanks Bill C.)

Native American, April 13th

Spiritual matters are difficult to explain because you must live with them in order to fully understand them.

-Thomas Yellowtail, CROW

To know something we must become one with it. We cannot know what a flower smells like until we actually smell it. Close your eyes and experience the fragrance. The Elders say there are two worlds, the Seen World and the Unseen World. To experience the Seen World we need to physically pick the flower and smell it. To experience the Unseen World we need to know about principles, laws and values; and no matter what our mind or our physical senses tell us, we must decide and act on these principles. If someone does wrong to us, we must pray for that person or persons to have peace, happiness and joy in their life. We must not get even or retaliate in any way. Only by doing this can we understand spiritual matters.

Great Spirit, give me your power whenever my weakness shows so I can live by spiritual decisions.

Keep It Simple, April 13th

No labor, however humble, is dishonoring.   

- The Talmud

Work is good for the heart. Work is good for our minds. It can give us something to focus on besides ourselves. Labor doesn't just mean having a job. It may mean planting a garden or helping a friend. It certainly means working our program. Hopefully, it's a labor of love. We can get into trouble if we have to much time on our hands. We can turn it into mischief or self-pity. We can get bored. Being bored is a matter of choice. We'll never be bored if we ask ourselves, "How can I make this world a better place?" We can turn our answers into action.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, teach me to use my time wisely. Help me be well-balanced between labor and fun. I need both.

Action for the Day: I'll list five ways that labor and fun can help me get closer to my Higher Power. And I'll look for people and things to fill my time in positive ways.

Big Book, April 13th

Chapter 3 More About Alcoholism (pg 33 & top 34)

This case contains a powerful lesson. most of us have believed that if we remained sober for a long stretch, we could thereafter drink normally. But here is a man who at fifty-five years found he was just where he had left off at thirty. We have seen the truth demonstrated again and again: "Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic." Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever. If we are planning to stop drinking , there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol.

Young people may be encouraged by this man's experience to think that they can stop, as he did, on their own will power. We doubt if many of them can do it, because none will really want to stop, and hardly one of them, because of the peculiar mental twist already acquired, will find he can win out. Several of our crowd, men of thirty or less, had been drinking only a few years, but they found themselves as helpless as those who had been drinking twenty years.

To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have. This is particularly true of women. Potential female alcoholics often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in a few years. Certain drinkers, who would be greatly insulted if called alcoholics, are astonished at their inability to stop. We, who are familiar with the symptoms, see large numbers of potential alcoholics among young people everywhere. But try and get them to see it!